| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|06:32 pm] |
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| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Plush | ] |
Wow this break sucks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|08:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kiss Me On The Bus-Replacements | ] |
Now a change-up and i struck out again. Haha. Hey i can't wait til baseball season starts, i can't wait til our fuckin awesome album comes out, i can't wait til school ends, i can't wait til i go to Italy in August, i can't wait til i get my license. So im just trying to shift the focus away from the soap opera trash thats happening currently. I love life, I really do man. But God it has its downs, fuckin cHrist. But i mean i want to approach it with more of a "grain of salt" attitude Rather than "i hate this world" approach. But its just like a natural instinct for me to cling to anger and desperation. But im trying to convince myself that life is great right now, even though i would normally feel crappy in this instance. And hey I can't wait til i get a girlfriend again. But im gonna have to wait awhile. God it'll feel so great once i do, which is why i'm sort of thankful that im longing for one so much now. Life is a joke. Life goes on.
Why have I gained so much Italian pride this year? Why is that? I don't know. I mean i don't see why not. Like i want to learn all about the history of Italy and i can't believe i used to not pay attention in Italian class. I always have an Italian dictionary by my side. And i love Italian food (but who doesn't?!?!). I guess im just realizing my blood and how its turned me into who i am. My heritage. But then again most stereotypical Italians would probably characterize me as a hippy queer or something. I think this whole thing, might have to do with my need for a stronger identity or a niche or something like that. There are a lot more Italians in NJ than grungies. But there aren't that many Italians in Montclair. I smile everytime i see or hear an Italian name. All my friends think im really weird cause of that. Man i fuckin wish i was in Italy right now with the rest of my Italian class. I got to pay attention more often, and get my head out of my ass. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Say Hello 2 Heaven | ] |
Read the following slowly.
Man i got a fuckin curveball and i struck out man. I was at the plate and i just struck out. It isn't fair. I don't know what i could have done. Things were just going great, and it is now like this. I don't even know what its like. But now i have to wait for a long time. Aw man im losing friends, and i was counting on this to develop into a much bigger and more important relationship, and now they're both gone. And man, i feel like shit. sleeping is gonna be the highlight of my days again. I just dedicated too much thought and effort to this. Maybe i shouldn't be nice anymore. Maybe i should just give up. if i can't find a little girlfriend in highschool, how will i ever find a wife that i'll spend the rest of my life with? Io sono inetto. I just hope dogwater makes it. I never thought i would be this sad after having known that im done with ms. holley. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Freewill | ] |
So battle of the bands was really awesome. I had such a blast. Congratulations to the Early. I did not get to see how responsive the crowd was for our set, cause i was head bangin so much. I love my new bass amp so much.
Man i can't believe it, i did work like 6 hours and i still have alot more to go. This weekend won't be as relaxing as i'd like. |
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| Part-Time friends |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|08:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | unwanted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Face Pollution | ] |
unwanted. Thats the one word that has become attached me so far this year. But the party was alright.
I like to sit
Do nothing at home
I disappear, turn off the phone
I lose myself
Hide from the sun
I make a trip, when I'm out of fun
I cut you in, come on let's go for a fall
I cut you in, and you ain't leavin' at all
I cut you in, don't let it go to your head
I cut you in, part-time friend
-Jerry Cantrell |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|04:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | fine | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Get Born Again | ] |
I want to be a war film junkie. I love history. I was watching Saving Private Ryan Saturday night and i could totally see myself doing that all the time. Next weekend i want to see Stalingrad. Well actually not next weekend. And the Pianist. And i also started watching the Sopranos. I love how that show makes New Jersey look like its the worst place to live in the world.
I also like Kwanza. Kujichagulia means Self-Determination biatch!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|09:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Spoonman | ] |
So Tookie Williams is gonna die tonight man. Its weird cause as much as i hate and detest gangsta culture and rap and all that shit, I feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean if Charles Manson hasn't been executed, than this guy shouldn't die either. He did kill 4 people but in the last ten years he wrote childrens books about how gang violence is bad and shit. He made up for it and I think Arnold Schwarzenager should have really considered that in his decision. He is totally playing the race card by deciding to execute him. Imagine... the bumbling idiot that plays a robot that says "asta la vista babey" in a ridiculous movie is deciding whether or not someone should live or die. I think it is pretty crazy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|08:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Something-Beatles | ] |
Wow i was just looking at old journal entries. Its pretty intense. Like i was so young. I used to complain about girls a lot. Now i just don't even try. thats like the only difference. I wish i was back then now, cause i hated life a lot less then, than i do now. God man. i also read an entry about me not believing in God. Now I do. I'm scared. I've become so much more unhappy ever since then. The stuff i said didn't even sound. And i've become so much more of a bigot. I liked tenth grade so much better. And i feel like this year is going to scar me for the rest of my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|07:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | All Alone-Mad Season | ] |
Why did everyone go to a Montclair highschool football game for like 4 hours, and not see dogwater for like 45 minutes? What is so much better about football than us? What a jock town this is. I hate this fuckin town. I can't wait to leave. I was rooting against Montclair in that stupid game. The people are impossible to please in this town. Its a real problem in my view. Everyone would rather drink and smoke all the time. You know what come to our fuckin shows intoxicated. Our shit is trippy as hell man. I dk i love beautiful music so much and i wish that same vibe could be communicated and like our whole audiences would join us in the sacred experience of sharing music. Like it would be beautiful and it would be like an orgy, like at the COOP show last year. And not to brag but dogwater's music is sincere. Its fuckin real. No gimmicks it just straight forward all from the heart. Its what we are going through (or at least for me). Like i just don't understand how people don't feel the same thing when we are up there. And its just a real disappointment to me. And i wish it could be a chance to vent out all the anger that you've stored inside yourself. Its like therapy for me. I don't know, i don't see how that could be communicated at highschool football games |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2005|09:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Say Hello 2 Heaven | ] |
Waking up is like having a new life everyday. Its like your a newborn child when you awake. Your an old man when you go to sleep. I go to sleep feeling like shit and i wake up alright the next morning. And then i go to sleep feeling like shit and i wake up, cleansed of everything that had bothered me. Its going to happen tonight. I think sleeping has healing powers. I wish i could be asleep forever. I hate waking up, not the act, but the concept of not being asleep. which is why im going to sleep now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2005|09:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Hooker With A Penis | ] |
I love how montclair has turned me from a Social Liberal to a Social Conservative. Im pro-choice and gay rights but everything else i dk. I guess thats why im not Unitarian anymore. I stereotype and i don't blame myself for it. I dk its weird.
When i went to bloomfield, i felt a connection to the place. It was strange. I can't help but think What a lame social life i have. I need a fresh new start. New setting the whole thing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|08:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mixed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My mother said that thats the only Light | ] |
So this weekend was pretty good. Except i came to the realization of how much i hate marching band. I think i'd rather spend a day with Stalin than go to Marching band. I hate it so much. Ugh the horrible ugly sound of the horns. They sound like someone farting like at a decibal level of a million. And then the cheer leaders, same club beat over and over and over. And all the nerds around me telling me to button my jacket, as if that matters, and we're standing around with our little clarinets thinking we are important and special. It was so cold. I think i was going to pop a nerve man i was so angry. And of course Montclair had to fuckin win. Im so pissed. Now we are gonna have to play in -12 degree weather on December 3rd. Im so angry. BOOO MOntclair!!!!!!! Im rooting against montclair even though we are in the finals and it won't dictate whether we play more games. Im so sick of wasting my time on Saturdays. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|09:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Triumphant | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The End- The Beatles | ] |
If I were a superhuman for one day I would have the ability to turn rap music and so called “gangsta” settings into rock concerts where good music is being played. I would be able to change someone’s gold chain necklace into a flannel shirt. I would also be able to change someone’s ridiculous disc rolling machine thing into a real instrument like a bass or guitar. I would simply lift up my hands towards the rap-infested area and whisper under my breath, “save them” and then it would turn into the sight that I wish. My theme music would be Tom Sawyer by Rush, because they are triumphant and they are awesome. I would have long tangled unkempt brown hair, and I would a t-shirt that is hand written “Rap Sucks” and I would wear an unbuttoned scruffy looking dark gray flannel over it. I would also wear ripped jean pants that are rolled up and I’d have combat boots as well. I would use my powers to save the world from the superficial, skin-deep, egotistical, homophobic, materialist, sexist, and emotionless rap culture and music. Rock Music of all kinds from the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Grunge, Punk, Metal, Prog-Rock would be playing on every radio station. The ratings for these stations would be sky high. The Newspapers would call me the savior of Rock n’ Roll. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dogwater | ] |
Man I felt like such a loser yesterday going in to Mr. Dino's and getting a bottle of Chocolate Milk. That was just like such a loser moment for me. I guess i have a lot of loser moments, but that one stood out. The people of Montclair are so lame. I wish i wasn't such a critic of people's souls. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Neil Young | ] |
A dreamer of pictures
I run in the night
You see us together,
chasing the moonlight,
My cinnamon girl.
I want a cinnamon girl |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|09:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Room A Thousand Years Wide | ] |
Its really cool. My dad learned that my whole family are Italian citizens. Its so cool cause i can go to like any country in the European Union now and get all these benefits that Italian citizens get. Im Italian cause my grandpa was born before my grandpa became a citizen of the U.S. and thats the Italian policy. So its awesome. I just got to learn Italian and then im set. Man i'll be able to go to fuckin Italy, Germany, Belgium, France, Portugal, Holland, and all these other countries. I just hope my band gets huge so then we get to tour these countries. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|12:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Heart of Gold-Neil Young | ] |
Damn it, i came so close to going to my first party twice this weekend. Before i got there each time, someone informed that a god damned cop broke it up. Im really so lame for not having gone to a party yet. And when i say party, i mean one with drugs and alcohol. I call these Health Video parties. Who went to the one on Ardsley? I heard and saw that it was crazy, cause i went down the block from serendipity, and there were all of these people that were drunk and high. Thats like two blocks away from me. Its so funny seeing streams of children all drunk or high. Man im 0 for 2. I really hope there is a party next week. I hope that i can get there at the beginning so then i can just sit down and watch everyone get fucked up. Welp better luck next weekend. right? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|09:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | fine | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dead Butterflies-Dogwater | ] |
I've established that almost everyone in my history class is a freakin idiot. Man zero period gym is so fun. I love watching Sidney Jackson and Joe get up to the plate. We play a game called Q-ball (Mr. Quarto) and its baseball only he pitches a soft ball on a bounce and the hitter is equipped with a tennis racket. Its so fun whacking the shit of the ball, i love it.
Aw man i can't wait to get my braces off, i really hope its soon. I've had them since i was a seventh grader. And I like drool when i talk, like it keeps the side of my mouth open and i have to like suck in air to dry it and its really embarrassing and im afraid to talk. And i look extra Russian with it on cause it like pushes my lips forward. Ugh and sometimes the end of the wire pokes my cheeks and that hurts alot |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|08:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | All Along The Watchtower- by the man | ] |
Man my parents keep saying that im gonna be a hermit. They keep saying, "you don't want to end up like Grandpa Parente". I really take after him and not my parents at all.
I believe in after-life now. I mean im not getting anything out of life now, there has to be something out there. I believe that everyone goes to there own heaven. With surroundings being everything they love. Im gonna be in Seattle surrounded by beautiful girls who desire my presence and attention, and their will be music that i love playing in the air. And sushi and Italian food will grow from trees. And i'll be high on life. And i'll be able to play shows and everyone will love me. My mind will be clear of all useless thoughts and facts. I'll only know good. I believe that when you are in heaven, you look the way that you looked best throughout your life. And its all in the mind. Its just dreams but they are vivid to beyond belief. Hitler went to heaven with all the gay blond-haired blue-eyed aryan men that he could be with. In my heaven, the weather will change with my mind. Aw man i hope i hope its real that would be so groovy.
whats gonna happen to you when you go to heaven? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|09:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Punk Rock Song | ] |
there are so many people that i used to see all the time last year that i haven't even seen like once this year. Its like people are erased from my memory. For some people its a good thing, but i don't feel that way about most people anymore. I used to hate people so much. I mean i still kind of do, but not like individual people. Like i hate somethings that people do, but then i just say they are only human and thats to be expected.
Im getting so jealous cause all my friends are going to shows all the time. I wish there were bands that i liked that were playing, although i did hear that bad religion was playing in NY, and i really like them.
I wish that Boston and New York would switch places. I would go into the city if Boston were New York. New York is too noisy and scares the crap out of me. Boston is awesome. Its weird cause im still a Yankees fan and an all around NY teams fan.
I wish i had an Italian exchange student.
I sincerely regret switching out CGI, Im getting so much work and my English and History are only honors level classes, and its like not even worth it. I mean Mr. Green is hilarious, but he gives so much work. And man i heard like the electives are like cool this year and not the same bullshit it was last year. And also i hate Ms. Holley, her explanations for everything make zero sense. I miss Ms. Steinbach even though i couldn't stand her towards the end of the year, Ms. Steinbach is just like the greatest teacher in the whole world compared to Ms. Holley. |
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